I’m back with another (almost) love story. And guess what?
It didn’t start from Tinder.
This chapter of “Jasmine’s Love Life” was brought to you by…
(Is that better or worse than Tinder?)
This story actually started the same day my Tinder horror story ended.
You know how they say, “when one door closes, another door opens”? Well, the day “Tim” left for the Korean army, another door came swinging open.
On the day of Tim’s departure to the Korean army, I received a Facebook message from some Korean guy. I opened the message, and it said:
“Hi! How are you? I saw you at language exchange in Gunsan a few weeks ago and wanted to keep in touch “
This doesn’t seem like a weird message, right? Well, this message would have seemed totally normal if I had gone to the language exchange in Gunsan….. From the start, I was already confused at how this guy had seen me at the language exchange when I had never been there before. But maybe he thought I looked like someone else? I decided to respond:
“I actually haven’t been to the language exchange in Gunsan yet “
Now, this is where things got…strange.
Potential Creeper Dude: “Wait, I may have gotten confused a bit. I think I saw you in Seocheon on the street, and I wanted to get your contact! So, I created a Facebook account. ”
Me: “Oh I see. How did you find me on Facebook, though?”
Potential Creeper Dude: “I have my friend who lived in the US and knows Facebook well. He helped me find you by searching for lots of foreigners.”
Me: “Oh okay! But how did you know my name, though? It must have been hard to find me haha.”
Potential Creeper Dude: “Yes. It took about 2 days to find your name. I just knew your face.”
Me: “Oh wow! Can’t believe you found me.”
Potential Creeper Dude: “I can’t believe I found you either!! I was really attracted to you so I kept trying… kkk”
*side note: kkk= hahaha in Korean
At this point, I wasn’t sure what to think of him. On one hand, it was sort of romantic he went through the trouble of finding me on Facebook without knowing my name. On the other hand, it was sort of creepy he was able to find me on Facebook without knowing my name.
I don’t have a unique name, so people often have a hard time finding me on Facebook if they don’t share mutual friends with me. When people ask for my Facebook, I usually tell them my Facebook ID so that only my profile shows up.
But this guy managed to find me on Facebook with just his memory of what I looked liked… Pretty impressive.
I decided to scope out his Facebook profile. His profile was new so he only had two friends on there, me and some other guy, presumably his friend who helped him find me. There wasn’t much to see except for a few photos.
From the photos, he looked attractive and not too much older than me. After chatting with him, I found out he was a military officer stationed in my county.
Later that night, I told some of my close friends about this strange encounter.
Friend 1: “Soulmate or creepy ass stalker?”
Me: “I don’t know!!!”
Friend 2: “I’m leaning toward creepy ass stalker.”
Things got a little creepier when Friend 3 checked her Facebook and saw he had popped up under the “People You May Know”. This was strange because I was the only mutual friend she had with him.
Friend 3: “Idk, he’s creepy to me now.”
Me: “The whole thing is a bit strange…”
Friend 3: “He looks like a serial killer. Is that just me?”
Friend 2: “Jasmine, be careful! Korea is known for human trafficking.”
Me: “Omg, y’all are scaring me now!!!”
After talking to my friends about this situation, I started getting paranoid. I mean, what if this guy is a stalker? What if he’s a serial killer? What if he’s trying to kidnap me for human trafficking?
The next day, I was walking home from work when I ran into another American English teacher in my county. We chatted a little, and I told her about my recent Facebook encounter. She then told me an Australian English teacher in our county was followed home the other night by a guy she saw masturbating at the bus station. Luckily, the Australian English teacher was able to enter to slip into her apartment without him getting in. The American English teacher informed me there was a “red light district” in our county.
My paranoia escalated.
That night, I messaged the American English teacher I had ran into earlier to see if she knew who Sean’s only other Facebook friend was.
Me: “His one friend is Drew*…I think that guy goes to the language exchange.” (*Drew is not his actual name.)
English Teacher: “Omg I know Drew. He is nice. Think he is the one that helped him.”
Me: “Hmm, I wonder if Drew can confirm if this guy is a creeper or not lol.”
English Teacher: “Drew is friends with a bunch of us. I kinda feel better now that we know he is Drew’s friend.”
The following day, I got a text from potential creeper dude. Let’s just call him…Sean.
Sean invited me to go get coffee with him and one of his friends. I wasn’t comfortable meeting two guys alone, so I denied his offer.
But although I was sort of sketched out, I was also…curious. A part of me wanted to meet him to see if he was actually a “creeper ass stalker” or not. Maybe he would turn out to be a nice guy who just didn’t realize how creepy his Facebook approach was.
I talked to my close friend whom I was supposed to be meeting the next day, and she said to invite him to join us Friday evening for dinner so she could be there in case he was a creeper. I invited him out, and he quickly accepted. He asked if he could bring some friends along, and I told him that was fine.
On Friday evening, I went to Gunsan to meet up with my friend from Jeonju. We were waiting together for Sean and his friends to arrive. We had plans to meet up around 7:30 p.m., but they notified us they were going to be late because of some military training. Around 7:45 p.m., Sean arrived with two of his friends.
Things were off to a good start. Sean and his friends seemed very friendly and “normal”. Although Sean wasn’t exactly my type, he was fit and attractive. Or as my friend put it, “he has a nice butt”.
After some brief introductions, we walked together to a restaurant for dinner. During dinner, my friend interrogated Sean and his friends about how he found me on Facebook. We found out that Sean’s friend found me by looking through all the profiles of foreigners who lived in my county. When he narrowed it down to a few people who fit Sean’s description of me, he showed Sean the profiles. Sean then picked me out from those.
One of his friends chimed in saying Sean kept talking about me to them, so they were all curious to meet me.
Dinner went well, so we decided to grab some drinks after. My friend and I were getting along well with Sean and his friends. They turned out to be a fun bunch of people to hang out with. We talked, drank, and danced until about 4 a.m. Since it was already pretty late, we decided it would be best to stay in Gunsan for the night.
We all ended up crashing at a motel in Gunsan together. By this time, I was exhausted. I quickly crawled into bed to sleep. I was laying on the bed right next to Sean. My eyes were closed but I could feel Sean staring at me. I asked him why he wasn’t trying to sleep. He responded,
“You’re so beautiful. I just want to look at you.”
I was both flattered and creeped out by his response. He then told me,
“I love you.”
This guy had just met me 10 hours ago and already declared his love for me. I responded,
“But you don’t even know me.”
And he responded,
“But I love you. I think you will love me too.”
I didn’t know what to even say to that, so I didn’t respond. Around 6 a.m., he left to go to his military training.
The next day, my friend and I went to a coffee shop with his two friends. His friends asked me if I liked Sean or not. I told them I wasn’t sure because I was kind of interested in someone else I had met the prior weekend in Seoul. They told me Sean was a really good guy, and that he told them he felt frustrated not being able to express his feelings for me in English. I told them about Sean’s declaration of love for me the prior night, and they said he probably just didn’t know how to explain his feelings otherwise.
It wasn’t as creepy after I thought about it. I mean if I tried to flirt in Korean, all I would be able to say is “saranghae” as well. (Saranghae = I love you)
His friends also told me Sean said he was planning to study English every day now so he could talk with me. After talking to his friends, I realized Sean may not be a creeper after all. Maybe he’s just a hopeless romantic struggling to flirt in English.
The next night, I got a call from Sean. I picked up, and he told me he was outside my apartment. He asked me to come down because he wanted to see me. I was a little annoyed by the lack of notice but decided to go down anyways.
When I got outside, I saw him across the street. We sort of awkwardly chatted for 5-10 minutes before I told him I had to get back to lesson planning for the next day. He said he was really happy to just see me.
As I was walking back to my apartment, I realized I had never told Sean where I lived. But his friend had dropped my friend and I off the day before, so he probably found out where I lived through him.
Sean texted me almost every day for the following four days. Then suddenly, I stopped hearing from him.
I decided to open up Tinder to play with it for a little and guess who I saw…Sean.
Considering you have to have a Facebook account to use Tinder, I knew his Tinder account was new. I figured, OK, maybe he gave up on me because he found someone else on Tinder. That’s fine, I wasn’t emotionally invested in him yet.
After a couple days of not hearing anything from him, I decided to send him a “what’s up?” message to see if he would respond. He responded saying he had heard I liked someone else who spoke better English, so he didn’t have the confidence to talk to me even though he liked me…
So that is the story of my Facebook romance thus far.
Is Sean my soulmate or a creepy ass stalker? I don’t know. Maybe neither. Maybe Sean is just another chapter in my story, but only time will tell.